Week #2 for Everton Family Updates!

Hi Family,

Well we’re on to week two!! Thanks SOOOO much for all the updates received. We just need to get one more family on board and I’m sure they’ll join us this week.....right? I’m thinking, this may really work!!! Let’s keep it up and see if this helps keep us connected.

Again, I’m open to any suggestions if you think we can improve on this somehow. Its just my dream that we stay close and know what’s going on in each other’s lives.

Here are our Weekly Updates for this week:

* I had my CT Scan and it turned out completely normal. They were trying to make sure I was healing all right from my surgery and the infection I was having wasn’t related to recovery from surgery. It is just a bladder infection and the third antibiotics I took FINALLY started working. I’m almost 100% better.

* Dad is still doing AWESOME on his diet and he’s feeling really great about it! He lost another 4 lbs. this week. He has Saturday’s as his splurge day and Beau and I have been enjoying eating out with him on that day. This week we met him at Dave’s Famous BBQ for lunch and then Beau and I went to a movie that offered Descriptive Audio which made it very enjoyable for both of us. We saw “Something Borrowed”. It was a cute show.

* Beau goes in tomorrow for his first visit with the Neuro-Psychologist we found. We are really looking forward to this appointment. I’ll report next week how it went. He also, saw a Physical Therapist and a Occupational Therapist at the Outpatient Rehab Center at OHSU he’s been going to seeing a Speech Therapist for the past few months. They did an evaluation and have determined that he can benefit from working with them. This has really ramped up his appointments because all three of those Therapists want to see him weekly. With the Commission for the Blind twice a week, it makes for a pretty busy week. But it feels good to be making progress and getting him all the help he needs to try to improve his quality of life.

* I’m starting The Cleanse diet, Hailey told me about. I need something to get me off the plateau I’ve been on for over a month. I can’t seem to lose anything and I’ve been trying really hard. (Dad’s splurge days, may not be helping me, too much). We’ll see how the Cleanse goes. Tomorrow it starts and it’s all fruit tomorrow! I’ve started back this week onto my training for Hood to Coast since my surgery. I need to catch up to where I was before surgery. Hopefully it won’t take too long.

* We’re making progress on our front yard, but it’s pretty slow. Harold Clark kind of has his own time frame and we really don’t know when he’s going to show up next. It may take some time, but it will happen. All the arborvitae are gone from between Bill and our house and he’s also been taking down that little brick wall we built.

Well, that’s our news! I love you all and hope to hear from all of you again!

Hello Family!

I just spent those two weeks in bed recovering from surgery and that gives you some pretty good time to become introspective and a chance to re-evaluate things. The thing that was forefront on my mind was how grateful I am for our family. No matter what is happening in our lives, it’s that strong family bond that truly gets us through the rough times and is the first people you want to share the good times with, as well. We also know that these are eternal bonds that will go with us after we pass from this life. I was so grateful for the phone calls, texts, emails and gifts I received from all of you. It totally cheered me up and made my day when I wasn’t feeling so great. No matter who we are, we want to be remembered and we want to know that we matter to someone else. That’s especially true with our family. Thank you for helping me feel so loved and that I matter to you.

It got me thinking.....!! Is there more we can do to stay close? It would be mine and your dad’s greatest desire to make sure our family stays connected and stays close to each other. I would just hate to see us drift apart, because it’s easy to do if we don’t work on it. Having our family reunions as Travis is planning this summer is a GREAT way to stay connected and to always make it priority to come....no matter what! But what about throughout the year? I think it’s important that we continue to make phone calls on birthdays. That’s a great time to check in with each other. We all like to be remembered on our birthdays!

Another thought I had was using this blog as a check in point. I know I’ve been horrible about keeping it up, but I promise to do better. This will be a great incentive for me to do better if you like this idea! If I submit a post, at least monthly, if not weekly, which would be ideal and then each of you just submit a comment with a few sentences mentioning you or your families highlights from that week, then at least we’ll have an idea of what everyone is up to. What do you think??? I’m open for suggestions or comments! Let me know!!!

For our highlights this week:

I found a Neuro-Psychologist to take Beau to. Her name is Dr. Elaine Grief (That’s with a long “i”). I’m really encouraged that she can be helpful to us. She seems familiar with what Beau is going through with his hallucinations that he sees and believes. We have a 2-hour appointment with her on Monday, May 23rd! This has been a long time in coming so we’re very excited about it.

We’ve hired Harold Clark to come and start working on our front yard. We are very excited to design new landscaping for it without the trees. Hopefully you won’t even recognize it the next time you come! (In a good way)

I still have a bladder infection and am on my third round of antibiotics and they don’t seem to be helping either. I go in for a CT scan tomorrow afternoon to check the surgery site and make sure things are healing as they should.

Dad’s going strong with his diet and has lost around 10 lbs. all ready.

We received a visit from our Stake President, President Bair, and the visiting General Authority for Stake Conference, Elder Ringwold, yesterday. They came to visit Beau. We had a wonderful visit. Elder Ringwold left the message with Beau, that he had learned everything he needed to know about enduring to the end when he served his mission..... and the other message he left was the our Heavenly Father loves each one of us individually and is very aware of what we are going through. He then used his visit with Beau to introduce his talk in Stake Conference this morning and talked more in-depth on the same message. It was a beautiful talk and the spirit was so strong. It was also a great reminder for our testimonies that we are literal children of our Heavenly Father and he LONGS to bless us.

I love you ALL!

Zero Waste Lifestyle

I am passionate about reducing waste. I feel that the amount of waste our society produces disturbing and unsustainable (not only are we quickly using up Earth's resources that are limited, we are also running out of places to put our massive amounts of trash, which results in environmental pollution). We have been trying to reduce waste in our home as much as possible, but we still have a lot of room for improvement (we fill up about one under-the-sink garbage can in a week).

This short video was very inspirational to me. It shows how doable zero-waste lifestyle is. Making changes is hard for me, but once I get into a solid habit -- it becomes easy and feels good. Next on my list for this spring is getting a red-worm composting bin. Please enjoy the video!

Halloween With the Garvins!

Bob, Beau and I were able to go to Maple Valley for Halloween. What a wonderful weekend we had! We got to see McKay’s soccer game in the rain and go to his awards event at Dairy Queen. Then we were able to go trick or treating with them that night. Sunday topped it off by going to church with them and watch their Primary Sacrament Meeting Presentation that Melissa was in charge of and Kayla and McKay spoke and sang in. It was a delightful weekend and we loved every minute of it!!! Here you see, McKay as Mario, Kennedy as Alice in Wonderland and Kayla as a Vampire Witch! So cute!

Anna Lyubov Everton

Anna Lyubov Everton made her appearance 10 days early, this morning at 1:47 a.m. She weighed 6 lbs. 15 oz, and was 19.5 inches long. She’s got a little dark hair and the cutest little face even though she’s not even a day old and still a little swollen. She looks quite a bit like Lucas did, I think, but it’s hard to tell really. I just fell in love with her the minute I held her. She is our 9th grandchild and we couldn’t be more excited to welcome her to our family. I guess what is an extra added bonus is that she lives here in Portland and I’ll get to see her alot.

This is Zach and Ksenia’s most recent updated family photo. I took Lucas up to meet his new little sister. He was curious and somewhat interested but didn’t really care to hold her yet.

This is understandable!

The birth of a new baby is always such an amazing experience and especially when it happens to one of your children. It is amazing to see my son stare down at his new little daughter and know that a whole new adventure awaits him. I’m so excited for him and couldn’t be more grateful that he chose Ksenia to be the mother of his children. She is amazing!

It doesn’t get much better than this! Holding my newest granddaughter, Anna! She’s less than 24 hours old here. She’s beautiful and I love her all ready.

This is cute Lucas with his “I’m a Big Brother” sticker from the hospital on. He has totally stolen my heart long ago and we’ve had a fun day getting to hang out while mom and dad and Anna are at the hospital!

Here is Anna not happy at having her diaper changed but looking healthy and perfect. What a blessing to have her here safe and Ksenia doing well, also. It was a surprise to have her come early, but I’m so glad she came on a weekend so Bob and I could be home and able to help a little more. That was very considerate of her. Welcome to the world and to our family Anna!

Update on Beau!

This picture is of Beau and I at the Oregon Commission for the Blind. They held a BB Q for Blind students, and it was a day I had off work so we went together. It was an interesting experience. Those cooking on the grill were either blind or they wore sleeping masks so they couldn’t see. (The biggest question I had, was how do they tell if the meat is really done inside?) We had to leave before they actually ate, but enjoyed watching--listening-- to the process and visiting with some of the other blind students.

My intent in reviving our Everton Family blog is to use it as an avenue to give updates on Beau’s progress. So here is the latest news on Beau.

A SUMMER OF PROGRESS

Mallory - Beau’s Caregiver

The past 4 months have been months of progress, I feel! Mallory came home the first part of May and brought with her, the enthusiasm and commitment and energy that she always possesses to bring positive change with Beau. At that time, we had been working with him on walking on the treadmill every day, but it was hit and miss. At that time he was walking at the slowest pace the treadmill goes (l.0 speed) and could only go about 3-5 minutes before he was completely exhausted. Mallory took this as a personal challenge to help Beau progress towards better stamina and strength. She was able to motivate and push him just enough that he gradually progressed. By the time she went back to BYU the end of August, he had increased his time up to 30 minutes and his speed up to 2.5. This was an amazing accomplishment, we felt. She took her job of helping and caring for Beau very seriously and helped us establish a consistent daily schedule. She took him on walks and on outings and helped him listen to music and favorite programs and implementing a scripture study time and listening to conference talks. She was a ray of light and energy in our home and we are forever grateful for the sacrifices she made to come home and spend this time with Beau. It was a joy to have her home with us.

Rehab Without Walls

The other huge progress that happened this summer was the opportunity we had to get Beau started in a Brain Rehabilitation program. In May, we took him to Dr. Erb, who is a Physiatrist (which is a doctor that specializes in rehabilitation). Dr. Erb specializes specifically in Brain Rehabilitation. It was after our visit with her that gave us hope that most of the damage Beau has received from the radiation treatments he had, he can recover from with time and with therapy. She gave us hope that he can become independent and can adapt to being blind. She found a facility that she felt was a perfect fit for him which is called Rehab Without Walls. They are a facility that comes into our home to work with him and provide the therapy that he needs. Because of the confusion he deals with and his left-side neglect that makes it difficult for him to know what direction he is going and causes some instability and balance issues, it would be very difficult for him to go to a facility as an out-patient and be able to learn to navigate in completely unfamiliar surroundings. When Rehab Without Walls came to our home to make an assessment and to educate us on their program, I knew it was the right fit for him. The next hurdle we came to was finding out that our insurance would not cover it. Because there is very limited options for him, I was able to plead our case with our Health Insurance and convince them to cover his therapy with Rehab Without Walls. They started working with him at the end of July and we have been so pleased with the progress we are all ready seeing. It isn’t huge progress and sometimes we feel like we take two steps forward and one step back, but we see little signs of improvement overall. We have been told this is going to be a very long slow process, but there is hope at the end of the tunnel. That is the most wonderful part of finding this rehabilitation opportunity is that we feel like we are working towards something positive that we can participate in.

Rehab Without Walls have been wonderful to work with. Their policy is to come into our home and find out what Beau’s long-range goals are. Then they take those long range goals and break them down into small goals that work toward those larger goals. They train us on what we can do to support what they are doing and give us things to work on with him right in our home. Then they start working with him in the community. For Beau, their ultimate goal is to work closely with the Oregon Commission for the Blind so that eventually he can attend there regularly and benefit from their program in helping him adapt to being blind and lead an independent life. The therapists have been wonderful to work with. They are friendly, professional, compassionate and motivating. We feel so blessed to be working with them. Beau keeps thanking me for working so hard to find help for him and he keeps asking me how he can help. I tell him that he has the biggest job and that is to work really hard at the very repetitive and sometimes boring therapy they give him. He is such a trooper and has such a great attitude about it. He works really hard even when he really doesn’t want to. He is an inspiration to all of us!!

The bad news is, that our insurance company has decided to limit the amount of visits that they will cover because of a discrepancy in the billing methods with Rehab Without Walls and our coverage will run out the beginning of October. I’m slightly devastated about this, but I am not going down without a fight. They listened to my pleas once so I hope they will again. I’m in the process of getting all my information together to present to them our case. Please keep us in your prayers, that we will be successful.

Maureen Valdez - A Wonderful Caregiver

The other HUGE development in Beau’s update is that as the time approached for Mallory to return to college, we started looking for a new caregiver for Beau. This is a very gut wrenching process for me because it is such a leap of faith to find someone that we can trust to come into our home and give the care Beau needs. I felt very strongly prompted that I wanted to find a member of our church as a caregiver and so I posted a Job Description through the LDS Employment services and then networked through the Relief Society Presidents and Priesthood Quorums in the Stake. Mallory also made an announcement in the Singles Ward and we did receive quite a few possibilities for the job. All it required was that they were willing to go through a 4-hour Medicaid training to be approved by Medicaid.

We found Maureen Valdez through my friend, Lynette Hardy, who is a Relief Society President in Bethany Ward. I plan to do another post about Maureen, so suffice it to say right now, that we feel that our prayers were truly answered and we were blessed beyond comprehension for the gift that Maureen is to us and to Beau. We couldn’t have asked for anyone better.

I am so overcome with gratitude for the blessings we are receiving daily. This is quite a journey we find ourselves in....but it is a journey of learning and of hope so we are grateful for this opportunity to grow

There Can Be Miracles....When You Believe! Hood to Coast 2010

I'm a little late getting this post out because this

happened a week ago, so it may start to be considered old news!! But it's got to be recorded for posterity because it just doesn't happen every day!

We were called the “Long Running Jokes"

I ran the Hood to Coast with 5 of my 6 children and I'm still alive to tell about it. That is the Miracle!! Let me explain....I am not an avid runner. I did have a 3 year period of my life several years ago where I thought I would give running a try. It was back when Oprah had started running and she published her training schedule for someone who had NEVER run before. It was a ten-week schedule that involved starting out walk/running and added running a little longer each week and walking a little less, until you could run for 30 minutes without walking at all. I figured I could do anything for 10 weeks and then see if I liked it. I have never had an athletic bone in my body and never a real interest in it for myself, but I had a desire to become more fit and regulate my weight, and its something Bob loves, so I thought I'd give it a try.

I am a rule follower so I stuck to the schedule precisely and in 10 weeks....I could literally run 30 minutes without walking!!!!! Who knew it could happen?? I was hooked for about 3 years, I ran regularly and got to where I truly enjoyed it. I always lived with this fear that if I ever stopped, I would never start up again. But you have to understand that I still was not anywhere near a competitive runner. I never ran a 5K. The most I did with my running was the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning and I did run in the Starlight Parade one year both just for fun. I never had aspirations to run a Marathon or even a Half Marathon.

Then, I got a job and my schedule got more complicated and I did quit running....and I did think I probably would never return to it. Then last year our family was able to get on someone's team and were able to fill a van with just our family. The thought crossed my mind then that I MIGHT want to try it, but never enough to ever verbalize it. Plus, I didn't want to take the spot of anyone else in the family that wanted to run, so I stayed home and played with my grandkids instead. Beau was slated to run in it, but when he came home and was starting to deal with all the problems he is having now, he had to drop off the team. He did sign-up as a volunteer and helped out at one of the exchange posts. Bob ran in his place last year.

This year, we got our own team and our hope was to fill all 12 spots with family members. We started out the year with more than enough family (and close to family) to fill both vans, but as the year progressed, one by one they dropped out until we were having trouble filling both vans. Zach is our leader and would come for Sunday dinner each week, reporting on the status of the team. I could see how discouraged and frustrated he was getting and so I decided to go for it! I volunteered to run!! I even surprised myself when I volunteered because I was not in good shape, hadn't run for atleast 4 years, was working full-time and caring for Beau whenever I wasn't working. It would be harder than it had EVER been before to train. But....I decided, where there's a will, there's a way and decided to do the best I could.

It seemed insurmountable at first because I could not find a time to work out....but then Mallory came home.....and saved my life in more ways than one....but because of her, she supported me in finding time to train when she could care for Beau. Even then, it was May and I wasn't sure I could be ready by August being as out of shape as I was and, let's face it.....I'm not a spring chicken anymore! For the first MONTH of training, I would feel like I was going to die each time I went out for a run. I would start each run with a prayer, asking for the strength to do this. Any level of a hill.....would completely overwhelm me..and it didn't seem to get any better, even though I was trying to run 3-4 times a week. Then one day, I was running and feeling especially discouraged, listening to my iPod. The song, "If You Believe" by Mariah Carey came on. The lyrics to that song really hit me.

Many nights we pray

With no proof anyone could hear

In our hearts a hopeful song

We barely understand

Now we are not afraid

Although we know there's much to fear

We were moving mountains long

Before we knew we could

There can be miracles

When you believe

Though hope is frail

It's hard to kill

Who knows what miracle you can achieve

When you believe

Somehow you will

You will when you believe!

As many of you know who may be reading this....our lives have been completely turned upside down and forever changed with all that Beau has been going through this year. It's enough for anyone in Beau's situation to get very depressed and never want to get up off the couch again.....but Beau gets up EVERY DAY and tries his very best to deal with all of it one day at a time and not give up. The magnitude of the reality that he is blind and struggling with confusion, still overwhelms me with grief, but he gets up everyday and deals with it....never bitter, and rarely feeling sorry for himself. His spirits, for the most part, are high and he tries his best to be positive. Every day, when he prays, he prays that "we will continue to have miracles happen in our lives!!" I find myself choking up every time I hear him pray, because I know he would prefer to choose the miracle in his life and he would choose that he could see again, but I also have been VERY aware of many, many other miracles, even though some are just small, but we are seeing miracles in our lives almost daily! It may be finding a wonderful caregiver for Beau, or getting the insurance company to cover rehabilitation when they wouldn't at first, to name a few.....and then for me, being able to run in the Hood to Coast with my other 5 kids and not let them down. In my mind, I was running for Beau, because he would LOVE to have run it with them, but since he can't right now......then I can do it for him! So after that song, filled me with HOPE and energy that I didn't know I had.....it moved me forward to help make this MIRACLE happen in my life. Running started to get easier and hills started to be doable.

can't even begin to tell you how I felt as I finished my last leg and knew that I had finished and had actually had some of my fastest runs during the Hood to Coast....it was so exhilarating!! And I can't explain adequately in words what it meant to have run with my 5 kids! I'm SO proud of them all....and it doesn't get much better for a mother than spending about 48 hours with my kids and watching them interact and work as a team and encourage each other and lift each other up. I love that my kids love to spend time together and truly love each other. It makes all those years of parenting, so worth it. They are all doing amazing things and making good choices in their lives. They are living their lives with integrity. What more could any parent ask for. !

So, this is from a mom, who loves her family very much and couldn't be prouder of them all and for a tribute to Beau, my wonderful, wonderful son who has endured so much. He has set a long range goal to be able to run Hood to Coast one day, with one of us as his sighted guide. We all pray for that day to become a reality!