I am sitting here at one of the many desks that I have sat at during my 2 year tenure here at the Army Corps of Engineers. It has this window that I once blogged a poem about, overlooking a parking lot and a small portion of the Willamette river. I must say the feeling of professionalism that comes with having a desk overlooking some fairly picturesque portions of the city can be quite intoxicating, but the salt hath lost its savor through the many monotonous tasks that I have endured here.
The time has finally come... today is my last day here. I will be starting at Intel on June 18th, and I've got finals between now and then... so there... it's over... just like that.
I have a little time today so I decided to take a moment to reflect on the lessons I have learned while here stooping for the Man of all the Mans: The US Government.
* When they say that you will get paid more, they by no means promise that the work will be any more rewarding.
* Army Executives have a very hard time telling the difference between a trash can and their box of things "To Shred".... an example of an imaginary conversation between me and the Chief of Operations Division (for whom I have adios'ed a lot of shredding):
Zach: Sir I was wondering if I could have a minute of your time?
Chief: Sure thing, what can i do you for?
Zach: I was going through your box of shredding and I couldn't help but notice that you have deemed it necessary for me to shred some old used Kleenex, and a pile of Fig Newton wrappers. Though I am sure that your habitual consumption of Fig Newtons is quite embarrassing, i doubt it is necessary to shred the evidence of your addiction. As for the Kleenex... well that is just plain gross.
Chief: Well I am certainly sorry about that. You have always been much smarter than me, and more attractive.
Zach: I'm glad you finally realize that Sir.
* If your Boss is crazy, never hesitate to go over her head.
* Everyone can enjoy a Lindsey Pool show, even the 55 year old Chief of Natural Resource Management.
* Just because someone seems proud of their baked goods does not mean that they are edible.
* Talking to someone you don't know in the elevator is pretty much always as awkward as you imagined it would be:
Zach: Still raining outside?
Stranger: Yeah.
Zach: Hope it stops soon.
Stranger: Yeah.
{crickets chirp}
#Bing#[doors open]
* A man cannot serve two masters... For neither one will take responsibility for keeping him busy.
* You are the only one looking out for you, so do not expect other people to do something (like process your pay raise) for you without sufficient prodding.
* When the Government says it will make an announcement regarding the possibility of layoffs in March of 2005, what that really means is sometime around July 2006.
That's all I've got for now. There were some other lessons learned, some of the more gradual - almost geologically paced - pearls of wisdom, but those are a little harder to sum up in a bullet point.... and I'm not sure I'm finished learning any of them yet.
Intel, here I come. May the lessons keep on coming, and the morals be more meaningful.
The time has finally come... today is my last day here. I will be starting at Intel on June 18th, and I've got finals between now and then... so there... it's over... just like that.
I have a little time today so I decided to take a moment to reflect on the lessons I have learned while here stooping for the Man of all the Mans: The US Government.
* When they say that you will get paid more, they by no means promise that the work will be any more rewarding.
* Army Executives have a very hard time telling the difference between a trash can and their box of things "To Shred".... an example of an imaginary conversation between me and the Chief of Operations Division (for whom I have adios'ed a lot of shredding):
Zach: Sir I was wondering if I could have a minute of your time?
Chief: Sure thing, what can i do you for?
Zach: I was going through your box of shredding and I couldn't help but notice that you have deemed it necessary for me to shred some old used Kleenex, and a pile of Fig Newton wrappers. Though I am sure that your habitual consumption of Fig Newtons is quite embarrassing, i doubt it is necessary to shred the evidence of your addiction. As for the Kleenex... well that is just plain gross.
Chief: Well I am certainly sorry about that. You have always been much smarter than me, and more attractive.
Zach: I'm glad you finally realize that Sir.
* If your Boss is crazy, never hesitate to go over her head.
* Everyone can enjoy a Lindsey Pool show, even the 55 year old Chief of Natural Resource Management.
* Just because someone seems proud of their baked goods does not mean that they are edible.
* Talking to someone you don't know in the elevator is pretty much always as awkward as you imagined it would be:
Zach: Still raining outside?
Stranger: Yeah.
Zach: Hope it stops soon.
Stranger: Yeah.
#Bing#[doors open]
* A man cannot serve two masters... For neither one will take responsibility for keeping him busy.
* You are the only one looking out for you, so do not expect other people to do something (like process your pay raise) for you without sufficient prodding.
* When the Government says it will make an announcement regarding the possibility of layoffs in March of 2005, what that really means is sometime around July 2006.
That's all I've got for now. There were some other lessons learned, some of the more gradual - almost geologically paced - pearls of wisdom, but those are a little harder to sum up in a bullet point.... and I'm not sure I'm finished learning any of them yet.
Intel, here I come. May the lessons keep on coming, and the morals be more meaningful.
5 comments:
On to bigger and better things! I can tell you'll always "cherish" your experience with your government job and may we all learn from your lessons learned. Thanks for sharing!
Wow, that was absolutely hilarious-- it sounds like fodder for the government version of Dilbert.
Inspiring and hilarious. Congratulations of the last day of work.
I laughed and laughed... proudly and loudly. The embarrassment of the fig newton addiction part is what really got me going. I'm certain that you married me because I think you're clever and hilarious.
I must admit that aside from you being so unsatisfied with your work, I enjoyed you working for the government: entertaining stories on a daily basis, free public transportation, coworkers who brought me presents, and of course a window into the interworkings of our wasteful government.
I always enjoy your way with words. Interestings lessons have been learned with more to come. Now are you gonna write something about the bike? :)
Post a Comment